Lately there has been an enormous surge of engagements, marriages and pregnancies in my circle, and on expressing my concerns that I have not yet felt a desire for any of these things, my cousin who has recently got married, pregnant AND moved out to Brazil in quick succession (she had no interest in all of that stuff either!) decided to express her views on the pregnancy side of things.
For any of you who feel the same as me, this offers some interesting insight, and for those of you that have been there done that, this may offer some familiar head nodding!!
Here is an excerpt of what she wrote to me, posted here as guest blogger with her permission:
By Silvia Santos
On the positive side:
* It’s amazing to see your belly getting bigger and bigger and knowing that there’s a little thing there, that will soon be a human being… It’s like: What?! That’s growing inside of me????
* This new phase of my life scares me but it’s also exciting and amazing.
* No, I have not become one of those women who goes crazy with kids… Dogs yes, kids, I think just my own, thank you.
* It amazes me the fact that I look in the mirror, and find this big belly pretty!!!! I never thought I would like big me :-)!!!!!
* Just like when you have a pet and you love it, and it makes everything else worth it, I guess when you have a baby and you love it, everything else (the pain, no sleep, nappy changing with smelly poos, etc, etc) is worth it.
On the negative side:
* Having said that last positive aspect… being pregnant sucks!
* No, really. You’re tired all the time, you need to pee all the time, and most women get morning sickness everyday for at least 3 months!!!!!!! (I got lucky on that part).
* You can’t eat or drink many of the things you love.
* Everyone has tons of advice to give you about what you can and can’t do and how you should raise your unborn child!!!!!
* People think all you want to talk about is baby stuff!!!!!!!!!
It’s a great feeling, people say! Yes, it is. Just like what you feel with so many things in your life, you have to really try it to really know how it feels. But does that mean everyone should do it? No way!
You can describe what sushi tastes like but one will only know it once he/she tries it, and each person’s opinion might vary. Pregnancy is not different than trying sushi or anything else for that matter.
The thing is, it’s very hard to find logical people nowadays, people who can give you facts instead of mixing their opinion with their feelings and emotions. Mummies love their babies so they tend to turn into romance everything related to motherhood… (I hope I don’t get like that, pleasssssseeeeeee – if I do, just slap me in the face).
Two things are for sure:
1. Having a baby is a huge responsibility. Not only it will depend on you for everything, but also because that baby will be a grown up some day and everything you do, the way you raise him/her will affect that human being for the rest of his/her life.
2.Once you decide to have a baby your life changes and you have to be willing to accept those changes so you won´t feel frustrated in the future.
So there you go! It definitely didn’t change my mind, but did help me to re-affirm my opinion that we each have our own paths and desires and should never feel pressured into anything we don’t feel comfortable with or ready for, just because it’s the current trend or out of peer pressure to do the ‘done’ thing. Do things because you really want to!