Loving the self through difficult times.

Sometimes life feels difficult and painful.

Sometimes things happen in various areas of our lives that break us down, and make us unsure of everything we know. We often claim to ‘know’ a lot and take everything around us as a sturdy, sure thing; attaching ourselves to things, to people and to habits. So that when some piece of this tightly fitted puzzle we are creating becomes dog-eared and no longer fits well, we feel trauma, intense pain or sadness.

We often feel like we are losing a piece of ourselves. Looking within, we can slowly begin to realise that we are still in one piece. Even if we physically lost a limb, we would still be a whole being within. There are no labels or specifics for what we consider a ‘difficult time’ as it is different for everyone, according to the life story we have been living so far. What is difficult for one might be easy for another, and vice versa.

Although it is incredibly difficult to keep our minds and hearts strong and steadfast through hard times, there are some things we could do with remembering:

*Remember yourself: It’s too easy to lose sight of who you are at the core of your being. You may have lost your way and forgotten, feeling as though you no longer know who you are. So remember first and foremost who you were before your difficulty, and know that you still have that strength within.

* Stop. Close your eyes. Still your aching self. Place one hand on your heart and the other on the centre of your being, just under the bellybutton….breathe deeply and tell yourself you will be fine no matter what.

* As well as looking within, open your eyes and look around! Who is in your life? What is in your life? What are you forgetting to celebrate? Be appreciative of even the smallest things and you will not want for anything.

*If it is someone who is causing you pain, remember that you have a choice to NOT feel that pain. It may appear impossible and outside of your control, but if you take a step back for a moment you will see, the other person may be acting out their own pain. Others will project their inner pain onto you, and you will project yours onto them. When you take a moment to step back, you can separate yourself and see who’s pain it is. If it is not your pain, let it go! Be as compassionate as you can towards other’s pain.

* Be gentle to you. In difficult times you may feel harsh and angry towards yourself. You may even feel empty and alone. If you fill yourself up with love and care and surround that anger with the same, you will be closer to feeling whole and will not need to attach yourself to anything or find anything outside of yourself.

* Go back to simple basics. Difficult times can feel complicated and uncertain. Focus on the simple basics during this time. The simple pleasures of feeding, cleansing, clothing, sleeping and being with yourself. Take pleasure in the hobbies you love and you will remember what is real and true for you.

No matter what happens remember yourself.

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