(warning, possible swearing!)
Look around you. Is it absolutely dire? Is it?!
Are you sitting in a soggy cardboard box in the street with holes in your shoes and no food to eat? Are you in a war zone being shot or bombed at with half of your arm missing? Have you lost every member of your family and friends? Are you a brain-damaged vegetable? Are you being beaten to an inch of your life everyday in a grotty prison cell?
If you answered yes to any of the above, I am truly sorry for what you are going through, and yes, it’s dire. Is it the end? Possibly yes if you’re terminally ill, but possibly no. You may still come out of it and I hope you do…though it will one day be the end of this particular chapter for all of us.
Now I know this all sounds very depressing so far, but my point here is; if you did not answer yes to any of the above, what IS your problem?
A large percentage of us wake up and think life is s***. We see rain and it’s miserable and disgusting. We get on the train or bus and it’s horrendous and we ask the skies (or the grimy tube tunnels) why? Why me?! Why do we have to do this, we hate commuting it’s awful! We get to work and we don’t want to be there because we hate our boss/colleague/hours/pay and it’s stressful/unfulfilling/upsetting/not our calling and there must be more to life than this, surely.
Well I don’t know, is there? Is there more to life than this?
Have you checked lately? Have you tried to answer that question? What are you doing differently to try to get different results in your life?
I could go on…and…yep I’m gonna! We get home and it’s stressful and we wish our partner/parents/kids would shut up and that our siblings/spouses/uncles/cousins/housemates/friends would just butt out or pull their weight or stop being so mean.
We have a pile up of ‘problems’ creating a pile up of neurosis creating a pile up of problems.
We have allergies, phobias, twitches, awkwardnesses, anxieties, intollerences, irritations and we bitch, and we moan, and it seems to all just be so s***! So we want better, we want more, we want what we ‘deserve’. What have we done to deserve all this rubbish?
Well if any of that relates to you, you’ve probably done f*** all and everything to deserve all ‘this’.
You’ve created everything you have and are, based on what you think you should be. You’ve done nothing at all to create what you really want. If you don’t know what you really want, you’re not even bothering to find out.
You say you deserve better, yet you make decisions that you’re unsure about or don’t feel right about that end up making you miserable, because you don’t truly believe you’re worth anything much. If that’s true then what makes you think you deserve better?
I am ranting. I am doing so because I am you, and you are me. We’ve all been there, and done that, many of us are still doing so, therefore I know what I’m talking about.
There was a moment in me, where I began to feel different; oh I still feel grumpy some mornings, or annoyed now and then…but there’s a big difference. I can differentiate between a temporary or transitional negative moment and a real dire situation. I began step by step to take on new little things and to choose to see things differently. I began to stop and think about my actions and how I really feel, I chose to recognise myself. There was a moment in me where I imagined how it would feel to lose everyone and everything I know. Would I miss it? The answer was yes, big time.
There it was; the key to everything. Everything I have is precious, and therefore life is a blessing.
I am not saying never complain. Look at me now having a moan. I am saying; if you’re in the rain and you come in like a wet dog, by all means shout about how disgusting you feel to get it out of your system, but don’t twist it to make the rain a bad thing. Just shake yourself off and then appreciate the experience of drying off and warming up.
If you feel hurt, irritated, angry…get it out of your system, but then take steps to move on and put your focus onto those that are good for you.
Work through the negatives, release them…but don’t then taint your whole precious life with the same brush. Look at what you do have.
Do you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, hot water, heat, light? Do you have a few people in your life to appreciate? Can you read and write, walk, speak, hear, smell, taste? There are people with less than that who probably appreciate things more than most.
This is not about comparing either, but about realising the fact that you are possibly not noticing how much you have, and you are letting it pass you by while your mind is busy in the future or over ‘there’.
From experience I can tell you, as soon as you start shaking yourself up from that grumpy sleep, things start to move and shift, and life starts to come ALIVE.