Occasionally the most unlikely people inspire me.
Like those that are fully unconscious to spiritual life force energy and the possibility of deep, authentic living. You would think only the fully conscious and those in joyful, passionate and purposeful existence would be my inspiration, but there is the opportunity for inspiration and learning everywhere, even in the darkest of places. Everything has a reason for its existence.
I heard what I call a ‘heart-opening’ song called ‘depth over distance’ by Ben Howard, and to me that song title means choosing to be deep and real, over the shallow, masked ride of just getting somewhere. It came to my attention that some do not understand that concept, and some do understand but cannot see a point to it, or would rather not open a can of worms in preference for staying in a comfortable, unconscious act.
I sometimes have a hard time understanding the concept of not understanding the concept, so it stands to reason that we all have our limitations of understanding.
When you are opening up like a bud, however, and senses other than the physical five begin to be used; understanding things becomes easier because the attributes of compassion and empathy begin to be exercised like any other muscle.
I can’t dismiss things as quickly and I contemplate concepts and possibilities. In doing so I begin to feel what it must be like for some who are brought up to fast forward everything; just as I once was. To move within a linear mind construct, to keep going straight ahead, to not feel (it’s ‘weak’), to work hard, play hard baby, buy this to make you feel this, get this diploma and you’ll be somebody, to ‘make it’ in life you must get here by this time and have acquired X,Y and Z.
I don’t think I was in that space for very long, but as I developed and realised it was shallow and fake to just do things for the sake of it; I merely acted it out in a battle between me and the ‘world’, and that has been very long. So though I struggle to remember what it really feels like to be completely unconscious in the soul, I can understand that if you are heavily immersed in an external world of materialism and status for the sake of distance, the depth part can probably seem like a waste of time or just the world of monks, dreamers and the ‘airy fairy’.
How can a flower grow without rich soil and roots? How can a house stand without sturdy foundations in the ground? How can a butterfly be so stunningly beautiful until it has it’s metamorphosis inside a cocoon? How can a person ever be real and happy unless they first recognise themselves from the inside out?
It seems so obvious to me now.
Except I used to advocate starting from the outside in. Exercise, eat right, do something and get somewhere and the rest will follow. I soon learned that you can do many things, and reach a million distances, but if there is still any trace of rot in your heart and soul, you will never sit still and you will be everywhere and absolutely nowhere; still lost inside.
No, the start is the start. Go to the start; you know where that is, and take as long as it takes.
I am reminded every day of my choice of depth over distance, but not just through pretty books, birds singing and wonderful talks and leaders. I am reminded just as vividly when I see heavy skies, unconscious opinions and harsh words.
Choosing depth, means that the fruits that will eventually blossom when they’re good and ready on the outside, will be all the more succulent and tasty.