I didn’t think it was going to be more than a physically cleansing detox to help my tummy feel a bit better, but this past Wednesday I embarked on something that turned out to be way more than that.
I chose Wednesday because it was a new moon, and it made sense to begin something new and cleansing on such an auspicious day. I knew it wouldn’t be a long detox, mainly because I’d done things like this in the past and ended up feeling too dizzy, weak and unwell, though I know now that I hadn’t hydrated enough and that generally you feel worse before you can feel better; I didn’t want it to be too extreme. So I settled on 3/4 days and I decided to see how I went.
It started because I was tired of feeling bloated all the time and had begun to look a few months pregnant, and I was tired of feeling tired, exhausted, swollen and just, uncomfortably toxic. Most of the time a gradual approach works for me, but in some things it has to be all or nothing.
I had recently been tested for coeliac disease and other issues and knew that medically, there were no red flags, so I went ahead and looked up some juices and smoothies, read up on detoxing, and went for it. I know many would say I should have consulted with some specialist or other, but I wanted to literally follow my gut and feel my way in.
The first day I had nothing but fresh juices consisting of all sorts of green things I’d never normally dream of drinking, herbal teas and water. The second I introduced smoothies and soups, nuts and berries, and the third some clean solids came in. Today is day 4, where I’ve cooked a normal meal, but the smoothies and juices still feature.
The only discomfort I felt was on the morning of the second day where I suffered a debilitating migraine and nausea and stayed home, despite having kept hydrated, and the occasional insane craving for the old ‘drugs’ which passed fairly quickly. For some reason toast drenched in butter and nutella kept coming to mind!
Embarking on this ended up becoming a highly reflective few days, especially the first 3 days where I felt introspective and kept to myself. It became more than just a physical detox as it allowed me to become more aware of certain things and in tune with myself.
On the second day I became acutely aware of the brainwashing in television adverts, I had a moment of suddenly feeling more alert than ever and felt like I had cut myself loose from some sort of mental fog. I had just recovered from my migraine and I switched the TV on to watch something I’d recorded, my mouth watered at the sight of the images of golden, melting butter, stringy cheesy pizzas with sizzling pepperoni and sticky stir-fry sauces drizzled over tender chicken and I momentarily considered packing in the detox…and that’s when it hit me- these adverts are mostly all designed to keep us under control, by leading us to believe we are not complete or not good enough without all those things. The use of certain subliminal language has us hooked like a trigger installed in our brains, so that my descriptions of the food above would make some automatically crave those things. Most of the food products advertised were not from organic sources and contained the kind of ingredients that work like drugs- sugars, flavours, enhancers, GM foods among many others that get you addicted so you feel you need them and inevitably buy into them long-term to keep corporations and various industries alive.
I realised I was becoming clean, just a couple of days of it and I was already cutting myself away from the pied piper. It was spreading to my mind this detox, like a fog lifting and evaporating. It was a powerful realisation because although I previously knew of the subliminal, manipulative techniques of the media, and although I have used subliminal suggestions in hypnotherapy, this whole consumerist thing had only been a theoretical knowledge viewed through cloudy eyes. Now I really knew, knew, and you can only fully know it when you’ve stepped away. I could now make mindful decisions over what I choose to put in my mouth. I didn’t suddenly want to go 100% clean forever and always, because I also believe a little dirt here and there never hurt anyone, but I think that was also the moment I knew I was going to be at least 80% clean from now on.
Feeling internally cleaner means I can see that half of the things I’ve been eating have been for pure convenience, comfort and brainwashing. It feels as though doing this has brought me closer to my ritualistic nature, where I will take even more pleasure in preparing meals mindfully and with enjoyment.
Cleansing became healing, and on the second day as part of a meditational ritual, I spoke internally to my migraine, connecting with it, identifying what it felt like. After breathing fully and relaxing into a semi-hypnotic state I asked it what it felt like, the words that came up were tightness, then tension and finally a steel mask around my face and head. Another aha! moment came to me then; a mask.
So I asked the mask to please release itself, because I no longer needed its protection, I no longer needed to hide behind anything, and there was no danger. The detox was not me torturing myself, in fact it was a process of self-nurture and self-understanding. I told it I would be fine now and did not need it to keep me under its control. I imagined it unlocking, down to the creaky, rusty hinges of it opening, and dropping. From then on the migraine began to gradually lighten, and accompanied by lying back and sipping water, maybe an hour later it had lifted almost fully to a point where I could function normally, no painkillers required.
I spoke to my stomach too and it turns out it’s been trying to nurture me by holding on to everything in fear, similarly to the migraine, offering up ‘comfort’ and not assimilating the contents correctly. I’m finding that harder to let go of, but the detox has improved it.
It’s hard to see all of these things so clearly when you are still deep in the mass, cult-like consumerism of a mainly toxic lifestyle, and your veins are still connected to the sugar drip. I believe in turning it around and ensuring that I’m at least 80% real, then the rest would not affect me like it used to, as long as I stay aware and enjoy what I ingest, gratefully, mindfully, lovingly and in moderation.
I now would not think twice about sticking a handful of kale, spinach, broccoli or half an avocado or cucumber into a smoothie, I’ve discovered new recipes, developed a love of fruit and veg, gotten to know my own mind and body more deeply, developed clearer skin and feel more aware, so I will definitely be doing this twice a year.
To be correct, I should say visit a nutritionist and a GP before you start anything like this, I ‘should’ and I could, and I will and I have, but mostly do your research and follow your intuition and your gut. Stay mindful and tune into yourself as a whole, not just as a body.
Some links that were helpful for me: