The age-old question we so love to ask ourselves with a confused and furrowed brow is, ‘Who am I?’
If you believe as I do, that we are energy experiencing itself as a projection of physical consciousness, then it makes sense that such a question would eventually come to pass in our minds. We will naturally question who we are, what we are doing here, what we are seeing and feeling, in order for us to understand what is going on.
What’s interesting to me is the fact that we become so frustrated by the not knowing, by the seemingly gaping hole of unanswered questions, or inadequately answered questions. We eventually turn on ourselves and project it outwards; searching desperately and destroying ourselves and everything around us from the outside in. Like a child pulling apart a toy in order to understand its mechanism, only to break it.
I see the questions as they arise as a sign of the time to go within, and to finally learn to see with our true internal ‘eyes’.
Perhaps we are not necessarily supposed to know these things as intellectually as we think we are, because it seems the more we search and destroy, the more entangled in our own web we become.
I say we are here to learn acceptance, experience and realisation.
Acceptance- Imagine we feel content to just be here, just finding ourselves born into this life and death cycle, and like a blossoming flower, a purring cat or a rolling wave, all of which have their own natural cycles, we purely accept every aspect of ourselves in the moment without the need to consistently question, analyse, or drag ourselves into pits of frustrating despair.
Experience- In this pure acceptance of just living out what we have to play with, we could finally engage all of our senses in every moment, rather than having our minds forever attached emotionally to the past or future. The past is always subjective according to who was experiencing it and how they perceived it, and the future is shaped according to current experience and our perception also. So it just makes sense to be present in our unique present. The more we desperately try to know ourselves by seeking a definitive box to categorise ourselves into, the further out we search, hence the explosion of our need for external projection via various media. How we individually follow-up on this experience is key…will we choose to project a learning and loving message to help one another on the journey to experiencing and accepting ourselves purely, or will we choose to project in order to prove a point and self-validate?
Realisation- In accepting and experiencing, we can begin to enter the gaps of being and balance, and we can organically ‘know’ ourselves without even trying. Without the need for a headless ‘chicken or egg’ conundrum, or chasing our tails. We could then enter into a smooth transition of self-realisation composed of a deep-seated knowing that does not involve a deconstruction of facts and figures, or a need to prove anything, but rather an inner sense of self-certainty that is connected intrinsically to everything else.
We often behave very much like a cancer that is in desperate need to heal itself, and ironically there is natural medicine and answers displaying themselves all around us, but we can not possibly see the external in its true glory, until we have taken the time to go within first in the cycle of acceptance, experience and realisation. It’s not the easiest to get there when we are busy searching externally without having first made peace within, so our projections are based on false messages that cause us to veer into anything that covers up what we perceive to be a gaping hole within ourselves, yet it is that final step, the realisation, that allows us to take off the glasses that have been showing us these false projections, so that we can finally see the answers that lie within us fully displayed out into this beautiful, self-sustaining planet; our mother earth, filled with the nurture we need. It’s the delicious icing on our cake.
It’s a sad irony indeed, that the answer to our big ‘Who am I’ question, is in places we are too afraid to go anyway. We are actually afraid of the answer we want so badly because that would mean we’d have to look our incomprehensible magnificence in the face, we’d have to actually experience ourselves purely and experience the beautiful, sticky, confusing mix of knowing yet not knowing, so we sabotage ourselves over and over, in our self-made purgatory. Heaven or hell is our own story, and it’s a story as real as we choose to make it.
Imagine stopping the search. Just stop right there.
When you keep pausing to really breathe, and find that stillness within, you know exactly who you are…and yet it doesn’t matter.
Who you are has no words.