I hesitate to write as I ponder this topic. It was raw just recently and it felt ready to be poured forth, but it was doused in anxious fear. Now, on a new day and having let it brew to a fuller flavour, I am met with a dull discomfort; slightly more bearable.
I have been hearing talk of women who are beginning to ‘look old’ and therefore not considered as attractive as they used to be. As a woman who is still fairly young, but is beginning to see the signs of becoming older in myself, and who no longer receives the complements and attention of my youth as often as I used to, I feel it deep in my gut when these comments are made, and a fear of being discarded in the future rears its head. It highlights the sad reality of how women are so easily discarded in this society, and how men are more easily accepted with their gleaming ‘silver fox’ heads of hair, balding, lined or even full-bellied.
Even as I write that I think, so what? I am not repulsed by a man’s age, I see it as a natural progression and development of life stages, nothing more nothing less. Perhaps it helps that I also view the world as energy embodied, but the only reason I can see that it would be a problem the other way around, is due to a combination of media brainwashing and possibly an animal instinct signalling a lack of fertility in an older woman.
When I get right down into the dirt of this discomfort, I am left with the realisation that the latter reason is not a problem or a cause for concern, because each woman has her time, and removing a woman’s fertile sexual prime from the equation does not remove her essence, attraction, beauty or grace. There is much to celebrate in the older, wiser woman; the soulful and all-knowing crone getting closer to going back from whence she came, transforming herself into a teacher, story-teller and guide for all the women following. She has an abundance of gifts still to give, just in a different way.
The former reason, however, is where the discomfort occurs. The erroneous and practically forced world view that if a woman is no longer sexually attractive according to certain societal standards then she is not beautiful or needed, triggers feelings of rejection, and of being unloved, empty and pointless. Does a fine line, extra flesh, creased skin and grey hair really mean there is no beauty or purpose?
Of course not, and fortunately women can use this realisation to release this fear, as I am doing in the process of working through it. Once we as women realise that the reaction to us based on our declining forms at any given stage of our lives, is not our fear, but is purely a shallow fear of being insignificant within those that behold us, we can let it go and refocus on our strengths and self-love no matter what our bodies look like.
When we do this, like anything else in life, we are rising up from not only our fears, but the worries and fears of others, and opening doors to let in those that are not afraid of that which lies beyond the skin. The ‘right’ people and things can then come to us, those unafraid of our inner light and ready to receive the true beauty we have to offer at any stage. Let us stay immersed in the balm of love to let our surroundings and connections reflect that.